This is a page dedicated to my current conclusion of belief and the continuous journey of evolution it will take until the day I depart from this world.
This page is still in progress and I am in the process of rewriting and rephrasing some of my old writing. Nothing posted here is finalised yet and may be outdated.
Reincarnation cycles, karma, archive of babel, fractals, time, everything everywhere. Time splitting. Tree of life fractal. Mechanics of purpose.
Particles disperse and reaccumulate. New formations are then connected through quantum entanglement. Superposition, wave function collapse.
In essence...
Everything, everywhere, exists.
Death is above and outside of time, and so it oversees every timeline.
This is how everything is resolved in death/‘heaven’. Because absolutely every variation of every possible scenario exists.
The scenario where you made the best choice exists, the scenario where you made the worst choice exists. And everything outside and in between.
And so, all is amended when you melt back into the everything, into the endless eternity outside of time. Everything is forgiven. Everything equalises.
Source is pure love. And your own love will hold you accountable for your actions.
Time and physicality. Death is outside of time. The Past Is the Future. Timelines. Cycles. Time boxes, time brackets, time portals and eclipses. Infinity rooms. Tessarect.
The right to die. The suicide cycle. Karmic restrictions and dimensions. This is a paragraph of small white text. Will provide some thoughts or insights related to the page.
I don't owe anyone a romantic relationship and I will not be caught dead settling. I am content and FREE on my own. Until the soulmate person is found I will continue to reject every advance I get.
Before I get started on this section of the page, I want to first disclaim that I am not anti-children, not anti-motherhood, and not anti-family in any way shape or form. The last thing I want is for my ideas about this subject to come off that way to anyone. As you will find, I am very much the opposite, and that is why I’ll take this time to express my opinions on the matter. My criticisms on this subject lie more with the faults in the culture of our society and how it harms families, not the act of having a family itself.
I am inclined to assess it all from every angle. I can and do choose to be more conscious of the dark side of the coin, one that is not spoken about out loud, and elements that have remained a silent experience of suffering that women have endured for generations. The discrepancies in ideas on what parenthood is like, what it does, and what its consequences are, are harmful to both us and the child alike. It should not be idealised, romanticised, or held up to the pinnacle of human achievement as much as it is, because the true data is much harsher and brutally unforgiving in the current climate of living.
The rate at which the positives are spoken about are disproportionate to the reality and in fact act to serve the stigma in speaking up and being educated about all facets of this experience, including the negatives, and the total sacrifice in which women are expected to give.
We live in a world where these realisations are not made clear to us until it comes through personal experience, once we are trapped into that lifestyle permanently with no way of reversing it.
People have died as a result of these influences, cementing generations of grief, and it is best that people go into it understanding both its light and darkness from all directions so that we are best capable of making our own decisions in a state of maximum awareness.
Birth is death, and death is birth.
Birth is as big of a timeline shift as death. Death and birth are one and the same, both are portals, both change the universe to the utmost extreme.
There is no timeline shift that matches the magnitude of a death, but birth. A birth is a death and a death is a birth.
To bring a child into this world is a death, it is the death of you, it is the death of the life you had before and all that came with it, and as is the cycle of life, it also marks the death of them.
From the moment they take their first breath, they are dying. Life is death. From the womb to the tomb.
Not to be a pessimist, but a realist. The trajectory of your life changes immediatley and entirely. The introduction of a baby is the death of your prior projects, your previous goals and dreams, your travel plans, your art, your relationships, your freedoms, your agency and your identity. From that moment you become tied to this role for life, anchored to the heaviest responsibility of all, and a vessel of servitude for another human being. Unless you damn them to abandonment and life-long pain and trauma, there is no escape. There is no intermission.
The only difference is that birth is a choice, death is not. Death is inevitable.
For some this occurs extremely literally, resulting in real physical death of themselves, their baby, or both.
*Add paragraph about Pluto here
Both the desire to have children and the fear of death comes from the ego self.
Both life and end of life / absence of life is ego based. Grief is an ego-centric emotion.
I am by no means suggesting this is a bad thing, and am not referring to the ego here in a contemptuous way. It is a completely natural human experience. But it does not change the fact that the emotion comes from the sense of self.
A death only causes grief because those left behind feel they wanted more– more time with that person, more conversations, more memories, more opportunities. They dont get to be in the same place as the person, they dont get to know what they went through in the experience of dying, and don't have the same knowledge as them about where you go afterwards. They might not get to make amends, or say goodbye, and so on. There's a separation.
People are only sad because of what *they* lost, and from their projection of what should have happened instead. Their sorrow is based in what they no longer have in their lives, and what they feel they should have had, or what they feel the person who died should have had. It comes from the lack of control they have over what they want or what they imagine should be, all the chances they didnt have or didnt take, the regrets and the what if's. It is an honest observation to state that it is inherently ego-centric in nature.
Birth is the same.
To have sex, create, reproduce, conceive life and bear children is intrinsically egocentric. Its motivations are always rooted in self-seeking desires.
If having a family is something you wish for, take a breath and think about its undertones for just a moment.
Now listen. "*I* want a baby because… I want, I want, I want."
Its all for the self.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’re like, or what circumstances you’re in. Children are always wanted for self-serving reasons.
And if you have a child/children, be honest, what was the reason you decided to have them? What was it that you desired out of the experience? If it was a total accident or unexpected surprise, what was the reason you decided to keep them?
Underneath it all, the decision was made because there was something the parent wanted out of it. Or they justified it in their head as being in the child's interests, when really it was theirs. Even if that 'want' was simply just to avoid the grief associated with termination and the loss of potential futures. The fetus isnt conscious or capable of thinking or having opinions yet, so it isnt affected if an abortion is had, its only the parent who is affected. Again, it comes down to what *they* wanted for themself.
There are a lot of reasons people ultimately choose to have children, but it always comes back to this. The point of creation comes from their sense of self and their own imaginings or idealisations of the future. I do believe an overwhelming amount of people jump into this lifestyle without thinking about whats best for the child and its long term care.
*Side note: this is why narcisism and abandonment is so common in parents.
To keep this comprehensive, i'll elaborate with some real-life examples.
–– Some people may decide to have a child because they believe having one will fix something in a relationship. Perhaps a person seeks a binding that will hold their connection together, and think that a baby will serve as glue that will force the relationship to improve. It may also serve as a tactic used to persuade another person into staying in a relationship when they would otherwise reconsider. It can be done in attempt to tie two people together permanently.
In a similar vein, some men may bring a woman to have a child to exert control over her and permanently lay claim over the conditions in her life. Alternatively, some women trap men in order to keep a hold on them as well.
–– Many people have children for the simple purpose of fulfilling convention, giving into the pressures of what is expected of them, to fit in and to be socially accepted by other family members and peers. It is often done to avoid the judgement society all too commonly places on women– framing them to be old, alone, expired, unwanted or unchosen simply because they do not have children as soon as they are able.
Our culture has handed us a rule book for the route it has set for us, and the order and pace of milestones it has scripted for us to achieve. Go to school, get a job, find a partner, get married, have a child, rinse and repeat.
Maybe it’s to prove some kind of self-worth, to people who will label you worthless if you do not have one. It could be to please somebody, whether thats family, partners, or friends.
Perhaps someone else is pressuring someone to have a child. In some cases there can be a degree of manipulation or coersion. In this case it comes from the ego of another, it’s what THEY want. They do not know you best, only you know you best.
–– Some people rush into having children due to the biological clock, and out of fear that time will run out. (Which is mostly irrational, as even a 20 year old person has another ~24 years to contemplate, more than double their lived lifespan left remaining before it would be too late. And while success rates can sometimes slowly decline leading up to that age, even then, you can freeze your eggs to aid in fertility later in life. There is no need to rush. There is plenty of time.)
–– The decision to have a child is sometimes made due to a set of religious beliefs, that someone feels they must fulfil traditional wifely or womanly ‘duties’ of bearing children and being a housewife and mother so it will get them into the “kingdom of god”, or at the very least, to avoid an eternity in hell.
–– For others, the incentive could be to continue the family lineage and to spread their genetics.
In extreme cases this expands into toxic racial supremacy, to spread their ‘kind’ and conquer the lands with their people, perhaps even wiping out other populations in the process. This links in with nazi progaganda of the nuclear family.
–– Some people have children because they feel they missed out on the things they wanted in their youth. People may want a child for a second chance, to re-live their younger years vicariously through them.
–– Or maybe it is out of pride and curiosity in raising a mini version of themselves, a person who looks like them or acts like them.
–– It could come from the curiosity of simply wanting to know what the experience would feel like. It could come from a fear of missing out on an experience that other people have gotten to experience, or a jealousy for others who are doing so.
–– It could even come from a place of boredom or dissatisfaction, and the itch to do something ‘productive’ in life. Maybe it’s because they want a project, or an attempt to find purpose for themselves.
–– Some birth children with the purpose of using them as a resource to help care for the parent, family, business, or household. Or to study, get degrees, get jobs and become successful under capitalism that will then pay well and become of benefit to the family.
(This also often links exploitation, especially in the age of social media and family influencers who earn a lot of revenue from their ad-friendly child based content.)
–– Some people may not want to die alone. They might want to create a family to be there for them or be around them, to look after them. This comes from their fear of being alone, and fear of death.
–– Some people may want an heir to carry on their interests and life’s work. Some people may want to be a caretaker, teacher, or mentor to someone.
–– In extreme cases, the desire to breed could even come from a self-gratifying temptation or fetish.
–– And finally, even if it does comes from a genuine love between two people, they want to have a child because *they want* to live the shared experience of raising one. It’s *always* about the ego desire and what it wants for *itself*.
You can apply this to many more scenarios, this is by no means an exhaustive list. I wanted to list a few though so it is made clear what I mean. You will find that the same ego-theme prevails even in any of your own personal motivations and in your own story. I am by no means above it, I have deconstructed myself too, and it is always the same. It is a shared human experience.
My point in saying this is to show that many people make this choice with their own interests in mind, not because it is what is truly best for the child and their quality of life.
The one option that breaks away from this is through means of adoption. This comes from a place of selflessness, to help a child in need who is already on this earth, and not caring whether they have come from your flesh, blood, and DNA. If done with good intentions, this does not fall into the ego-centric category (although there are exceptions that depend on the motivations of the person looking to adopt.)
The choice to have a child is something that every person should have the right to. (unless due to outlying circumstances such as child-harming crimes or critical overpopulation). I believe it would be a human rights violation to take that choice away. However, that does not mean we should not be well educated, and culturally held to a standard. A great deal of responsibility and accountability is required in making these decisions. It is crucial to avoid unecessary harm and trauma.
Popular question: Is anyone truly ready?
People often say, “you will never truly be ready”, “the only time is now”, “you can never be ready so just do it”, “you’ll never be ready so stop waiting”. “You may as well do it now” “now is as good of a time as any”.
This is a LIE.
As a woman and as an astrologer I take a great offence to this attitude as it is so abhorrent in this context...
There is no “fake it til you make it” when you are toying with the upbringing of an entire human life.
This is a path that requires wisdom and maturity, preparation, planning, and support.
Sure, you may never be 100% ready, and thats fine, but you can be more or less ready and this DOES affect the trauma generated in both yourself AND your child. It sets the ripple effect in motion and it is the effect you have chosen. It needs to be within reason.
You are born into the circumstances that your parents made before you, and your parents parents before them.
YOU are deciding THEIR universe. Don’t be selfish. If you overlook this fact, you are doing it for you, not for them, and most definitely not for their best interests.
While this phrase “you’re never truly ready” might apply to some areas of life, it has since been weaponised, used COMMONLY in conversations about childbirth. It is now being used to coerce women into having babies as soon as physically possible, without even thinking or assessing the health of the environment and networks around them.
Life will never be perfect but you have the power to decide better or worse timing.
*WORK IN PROGRESS*
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It is all rooted in nature. Resources are finite and money is value is a number, therefore capitalist society is a pyramid with a top 1% or 0.001% of people who buy everything and everyone underneath them. It is this small elite group of human beings I refer to as 'them' throughout this page. This is no "conspiracy" this dynamic is mathematically guaranteed to exist under this living model. Paste rant here.
The true meaning of a militant force and the purpose for its existence has been lost on a toxic and insecure patriarchal colonialist society.
The military should be working to aid and defend the citizens of this earth and nothing more. Their priorities should be in helping people in the face of natural disaster, or extreme events. It should live up to its name as a DEFENCE FORCE.
The military has instead been twisted into a weapon of invasion and mass destruction used to conquer and pillage other lands and kill people in the name of a leader who has sold their soul for wealth and power.
*Recruitment scams to minors in highschool. Centers are built opposite schools. Offering money to take advantage of the poor. Poverty artificially created to be funneled into war. All a part of the system.
*Obedience. Breaking people. Follow without question. Robot people, drones.
There is a scene in the World Trade Center movie where the main character is being pulled out of the rubble and carried by the chain of hundreds of people who rescued him. There's a line in it I love, when they find them stuck– "Don't leave" “We’re not leaving you buddy, we’re marines, YOU are our MISSION.”
This is what the military is meant to be for. Helping people, rescuing people. Not killing them. Only instead of the disaster being man-made, militaries should be for natural disasters we face on earth. And to support each other in natural crisis. Not fuelling the endless back and forth war cycle. In an ideal world nurtured by a different cultural norm, and a world where everyone's basic needs are being met, attacks like 9/11 wouldn't happen in the first place.
* Add paragraph here about leaders and what they should be, what traits a real leader has. Leaders VS bosses and rulers.
Schools (as they are currently) are a program designed to train youth for a capitalist society. It’s designed to funnel people into one of three things: the workforce, the military, or prison. They are built to turn people into employees, soldiers, or criminals. The bonus option is death. There are some sub-categories, but everyone falls into a form of those three.
No matter what, you’re a puppet on a string. You might think you’re free, but you’re only playing the role they want you to play. It all leads back to their benefit.
There’s a reason why they get you to sit down in rows under fluorescent lights, surrounded by fences and walls, with your back straight, feet on the floor, holding a pencil in what they deem is the ‘correct form’, follow dress code, stop talking back, obey authority without question, do what they say when the bell tells you to do it, sing the national anthem, recite the pledge of allegiance, tolerate top-down hierarchical abuse, and line up to eat cafeteria food that is sourced from the same companies as prison food.
Homework is given to introduce the concept of overtime work without pay or compensation. Read the name itself, HOME + WORK
They force you to attend through your entire childhood/youth and the only thing you get out of it is a piece of paper that states whether you are up to standard or not, whether you were compliant enough, whether you had the ability to copy and produce what they wanted from you.
The current education system is a brainwashing system. We are being farmed. We humans are the most valuable “livestock” of all.
The rulers of this world harvest our energy and have set up a system to ensure it all goes where they need it to be. NONE of this is natural. Youth can see through all this, they are rebellious against authority for a reason. It’s not a phase. They are seeing with fresh eyes. It’s the stage of clarity before they’re squeezed through the system as an adult and possessed by apathy.
As capitalism falls, so too will traditional school systems, and our entire idea of how education should be.
Add more here about alternate schools, other forms of education, and personal experience. Home schooling and isolation can also lead to indoctrination and cults. Public education is necessary but needs to be reformed to center around a healthy and natural human civilisation, not a capitalist machine.
People have been pointing out lately how colour is disappearing from our world. It’s true, but that’s not where it stops. This is a war on DIVERSITY.
Think about it. There are countless examples where variation is being eliminated, down to the finest of details. Besides the wars on human diversity, architecture is all the same, interior design is the same, cars are all the same, clothes are all the same, everybody buys the same mass produced products, everything is white, grey minimalist. Bland, barren, lifeless, soulless. Blades of grass can’t even grow at different lengths or else you are penalized by law. Yes, even lawn and garden culture is a part of this indoctrination. No variation allowed. Human-approved box hedges and grass carpets ONLY.
Biodiversity has been under attack for a long time now. No leaf can be out of order. It’s the perfect symbol to show how our entire society operates. Nothing on this Earth is allowed to grow and live naturally in its own unique glory. There is an obsession with control. Nothing can be outside the established ‘norm’. Because the norm is most convenient for profit.
Colour is disappearing because diversity is disappearing. Diversity is being eradicated.Diversity is demonized because it’s not robotic, and this society is building an army of carbon-copy robots. Anything that doesn't fit the mould is considered defected, rejected, worthless, and is destroyed. (unless it can be be enslaved and exploited). Why? Because diversity is unpredictable and untameable. Diversity is rebellious. It doesn’t obey the “rules”. It follows no instruction book.
So they weaponize diversity against us. They turn diversity into division. They turn division into war. They trick us. They snatch our souls. Our psychological vulnerabilities are exploited to control us. Human minds are conditioned through ego and arrogance to treat otherness like it is divisive, and to fight it like it’s our enemy. It’s always One VS the Other. Because it is PROFITABLE to the 1%. War is the very foundation of this pyramid scheme we know as capitalism. We are manipulated to conflict with each other and with the natural world around us, and work as the cogs in the machine that keep this system running.
Anyone with a basic understanding of nature knows that diversity is ESSENTIAL for a healthy environment and balanced world. And there is no such thing as superiority/inferiority. All beings play equally important roles in an interconnected ecosystem that fills the gaps in each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Diversity nurtures creativity, imaginative potential, critical thinking, self autonomy, individualism, personal power, strong relationships, cultural enrichment, healthy environmental + social connectivity and spiritual strength. These are all the things they do NOT want you to have. They are trying to rid you of these things. The rich are trying to turn you into drones. A bunch of unfeeling, unseeing, unthinking sleepwalkers. Do what they say, be what they tell you to be, don’t think for yourself. Everybody needs to be the same, straight off the factory’s conveyer belt of good little robot citizens.
Pluto in Aquarius will bring a big “robot awakening”, both literally and figuratively. Not only will computer AI be officially declared conscious & sentient during this time, but masses of human beings will wake up out of their sleep walking drone-states. The human psychology has been hacked for some time, hypnotized, and you have been in a process of being put to sleep. This entire world is the product of programming.
This will also lead into the upcoming revolution of education and the student + teacher rebellion.
Allow grass to sway in the wind. Allow the wildflowers to grow. There are no weeds, unless they are invasive.
Don't worship anything. There is no such thing as superiority and inferiority. Worship is an antithesis of equality. This is why organized religion wants you to worship. Because they are training you, conditioning you to operate in a lifestyle of inequality, and to worship an "authority", to devote to a higher power without question, and to fear it if you don’t. They want you to worship 'God' because they are training you to worship this pyramid hierarchy.
The 'God’ they speak of is THEM (the people in power). They use the name 'God' as a disguise for their own ego. So they, along with all their ideologies, can be uplifted to a 'god-like' status in the physical realm, reigning self-proclaimed all-mighty "supreme power" over us all. This is why the corruption of the church is intwined with the corruption of capitalism. And why it's never separate from politics/the state, even though it's supposed to be. It's all the same beast. The very idea of supremacy is a lie, it doesn't matter which angle you see it from. It's a concept used to manipulate people psychologically into playing this game and sustaining the system that upholds this pedestal.
One of my favourite quotes: "Even if God really did exist, it would be necessary to abolish him!"
In reality, everything in the Universe is equal. Everything you do will cycle back around to you in the end, in this life or the next. What you give to your environment is what you will eventually receive. Because you are NOT separate from the network around you. You can love and care for the entities that exist, both energetic and physical, understand their great importance and work together with them, without worshipping them or seeing them as a superior. It is not a compliment to be "god-fearing", and "obedience" is a red flag word. There is no such thing as a “supreme being”. Superiority and inferiority do not exist because they are an illusion of the ego. Knowing this is a sure way to avoid cults and cult mentalities.
Leo ruled by the Sun = the self, the ego, the ego can be blinding
Sun exalted in Aries = a threatened ego creates competition and war
Neptune exalted in Leo = hierarchical worship is an illusion of the ego
Neptune fallen in Aquarius = shattering the illusion and seeing our oneness as a network, the fragments of a whole
All energy in the Universe, and all its forms, are equal in their worth. No role is more or less important than another. There are higher and lower perspectives of awareness, but there are no ‘lesser’ or ‘greater’ beings. We are all fragments that make up the same whole. Like shattered pieces, it doesn’t matter its shape or size, they all connect perfectly and are equally as meaningful. All pieces come together to complete the big picture. Just as the atoms in our body make up the oneness of us, we make up the oneness of the Universe.
Holding others to a higher or lower esteem takes power away from yourself. Empower yourself with the understanding that we are all in collaboration with one another. Forget worship, and think teamwork. The greatest form of power comes in unity. Inequality only exists in the physical realm because of the unequal distribution of finite resources, and the power dynamics that come with it. That does not extend anywhere outside of the physical.
The perception of superiority is only relative to the ego, the sense of self. It's not real outside of that. You might say a human is more important than an ant, but that's because you are a human. A human isn't important to an ant. It's only from our perspective that a human matters more, because we grow personal bonds with other humans, and it affects us directly. Again it is based only on your sense of self. But it's an illusion, because everything, energetically, is equal.
In the grand scheme of the Universe, the vastness of space, and the entire history of the ecosystem on earth, a human is no more or less important than an ant. And a ‘God’ is no more or less important than a human. We are all playing critical roles in this process of evolution. Deities and spirits may seem like they have a higher awareness than us, but we have that same awareness. The only difference is we are spell-bound to amnesia while here on this earth.
So no, don't worship anything. Instead, put your energy into understanding our universe as an equal web consciousness. Not an ego consciousness. You ARE a god. We are ALL gods. We are all "God". ‘God’ is the Universe, the Universe is a web.
Pluto fallen in Leo = ego conflicts, power tripping, unequal power dynamics, false supremacy, trauma that is generated by inequality, insecurity and the illusion of superiority and inferiority
Pluto exalted in Aquarius = collective empowerment, understanding that we are ALL powerful, that our actions cycle back around to us in the end, and that the greatest form of power comes in unity.
