23rd February 2025
I've been burned beyond my nerves. My skin is exoscelic shed, cavernous shell. I dont have anything in me. My soul has been ripped out of my body and it travels onward without me. At least I could help it evolve for that other time/place it is going on to live. But I'm not witnessing it. A fresh amputation. Phantom limb. All I can muster is a hollowed unmoving stare. Every pulse of the mind is short circuited back to the beginning. This will have an effect. A new cut marks a permanent scar. Questions will never be answered.
12th December 2024
"Let it all be animal, my life and death, hard and clean like that, anything but human… A lot I care, me with my red heart in the dark earth and my tattooed feet following the animal ways."
–– Vali Myers
29th November 2024
Will I ever find the person who came to this earth for me? My one, just for me, just as I am the one for them, who came to earth fitted perfectly for them. Do they exist here?
I want total obsession and devotion in mutual reception. I want a power duo. I want a shared mission and purpose, all in as the first priority. I want an emotional and cultural revolution. Creative synergy as rocket fuel. I'm an 8th house venus. I need it as deep and all-consuming as it can possibly get. I need it a little insane and inconceivably rare. I'm tired of being the lone third among pairs. I need my person. Where are you and when will you reveal yourself to me? Maybe you are wondering the very same thing. Maybe we are only ever destined to meet after one of us is dead.
4th September 2024
"Something in my soul was rising, rising, ceaselessly, painfully, and refused to be still."
–– Fyodor Dostoyevsky
30th August 2024
It will be vast
Peripheral expansion
No edges no borders
Seeing through infinite eyes
༺ ♰ ༻
Look into the future
Find what you want and need
Then be a part of its rise
26th March 2024
Sometimes I wake up at 4am with such a heavy ache in my heart.
It's the immense density and gravity of that pulsing realization that gone really does mean gone and there's nothing that can be done, the pain left behind is astronomical and echoes endlessly. And I can't help but think about it from every angle at the same time. It's as though a supernova exploded and sent silver shrapnel shredding through space-time in all directions like a spray of bullets.
I spend most of my life feeling like I'm bleeding out on the floor.
Like this is all some big hallucination I'm seeing as I myself am dying.
Where time warps and a nanosecond becomes a lifetime, shifting into a new dimension in a long and slow process of reflection and metamorphosis.
Flashes of light, microcosms in time, infinity divided, stretched into vast brackets of perspective.
A state of tormented hibernation, anomalous in the inverse of its idea.
Flaming pilgrimage for each particle as they break down and reform.
A sick, self-inflicted sadism of the soul.
I could never sleep before but these days I have never slept less in my life.
Projectile continuum
Existence collapse
Simulation reveal
You are the singularity.
I long to wake up on the other side of this tunnel
And to ascend from this 5th layer of inception
This deep limbo within dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream...
My own Labyrinth of consciousness... where the spinning top never stops spinning.
∞ %
